How to kill sales and drive off customers. (Funny Rant)

17 02 2009

This is a funny rant. Don´t take it serious!

First of all use 1024 x 1024 textures for all your products. This will ensure slow slow load times making the customer impatient and leave. Smaller textures like 512 x 512 are 1/4th the size and allow faster load times and in most cases aren’t going to appear less detailed then ones 4 times the size and you don’t want to actually let customers see your items. God forbid using anything smaller like 256 x 256 textures..

Find a mall where everyone uses 1024 x 1024 textures also helps kill those pesky sales and keep customers who don’t have time to stand around two hours waiting for textures to load.

Make sure you use lots of network vendors. These babies love to lag and take forever to load textures. And if you need a vendor system don’t use those non-network ones because they are just too fast and never cause much lag.

Have your store layout that is confusing and poorly arranged. This will make sure any customer who is looking for a particular items hopelessly lost and they will probably give up.

Make sure the teleport spot faces away from your store and faces out to other stores. This will give new customers a chance to go shopping at stores you don’t own because hey they think they teleported to your store. Best way to do this is face away from your door as if you just walked out of it then set the teleport location and Landmark.

And last but not least ignore those pesky IMs and note cards when people ask for help. By doing this you can be assured they won’t recommend your store to others or even wear your items and use them where others can see how cool they are. After all most sales are word of mouth and others seeing people using and wearing your things.

 

From : Xtreet User Forum

Advertisements

Actions

Information

One response

17 02 2009
time » Blog Archive » How to kill sales and drive off customers. (Funny Rant) « Rehula

[…] Rehula wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptFind a mall where everyone uses 1024 x 1024 textures also helps kill those pesky sales and keep customers who don’t have time to stand around two hours waiting for textures to load. Make sure you use lots of network vendors. … […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: